Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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