Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
