thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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