Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
