Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
