Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
