She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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