I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
These tits shall not be calmed
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
