But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize