my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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