i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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