I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
