That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
