You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
