i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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