shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
