oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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