a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
