I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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