i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
