HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
