The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
