So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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