Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
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I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
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Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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