I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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