That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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