Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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