Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
