This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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