There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Terrible idea I love it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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