Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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