I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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