did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
