Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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