Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
