Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
