Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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