He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
