You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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