Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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