Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
