I hate your face
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
