and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
