you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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