Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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