I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
handjob tips. give me some.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
