This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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