i jhust puked up my retainher.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
