We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
