If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
