just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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