i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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