Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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