yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
