like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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