when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
