Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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