do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
