my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
