Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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