yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
