ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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