Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think i have herpe
just one?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
