found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize
