Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
