So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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